(A/N): Bit of a warning, this chapter contains attempted suicide. Just letting you guys know...o-o
You lie on top of your bed with your hands resting at your sides, staring up at the ceiling as tears continuously fell from your eyes. Earlier in the school day, you had had been discovered sitting bruised and slightly bloodstained against the lockers by one of the teachers, and you had to be carried in their arms to the nurse’s office. When asked by them whether somebody had brutally hurt you, you replied with a nod, too tired to speak. However, you refrained from mentioning the person’s actual name for fear of the threat that Gilbert had given you earlier.
When you had arrived at the nurse, the first thing she had asked you was how you were possibly able to sustain injuries such as the ones you had, and the only excuse you were able to come up with to protect Gilbert’s identity was that the attack on you was so quick and fierce that you weren’t able to see the face of the person who carried it out on you. Your parents had to be called from work to come and pick you up because you were barely able to walk on your own, and as soon as your parents had driven away from the school, they headed straight to the hospital, where you had to be evaluated.
That was when everybody there discovered all your bruises and cuts from previous bullying that you had faced all throughout your high school years. It wasn't as much of a shock to the staff at the hospital as it was to your parents.
Your parents had asked you if someone was physically hurting you at school, and you responded with a nod. They had then asked you if you knew who this person was, and you shook your head. In the end, your parents had decided that they were going to contact the staff at the school to inform them of all of your bullying, since you had gone through so much without them being able to help you at least once.
To add to their devastated emotions, your parents had also been angry at you for not telling them about the bullying as soon as it had started. You had to stay at the hospital overnight for treatment of all your cuts and bruises, and when you were released the next afternoon, the first thing you did when you got home was go to your room and cry, which you continued doing up until now. But despite that, your parents were still furious at you and didn’t stop from giving you a lecture about how you should've always told someone if someone else was bothering you, which only made you feel worse.
These past thirty-six hours had been like hell for you in so many ways. The pain of getting bullied once again by Gilbert, having him say all those things to you, getting taken to the hospital, the humiliation of having to show everybody, even your parents, all your cuts and bruises for the first time...it was all just too much. And now your parents were going to contact the school, meaning that once the word got around, you would be in big, big trouble with Gilbert.
You let out a sigh and covered your eyes with your arm, your continuous amount of tears instantly causing it to become damp. Maybe what Gilbert had said to you the previous day was true. Maybe it was true that nobody ever cared about you. Maybe it was true that if anybody did care about you, they would've helped you deal with the problem without you even having to go to them. Maybe it was true that you were useless in this world and only made life more difficult for others. It certainly seemed that way when your parents had to spend so much of their time driving you from school to the hospital and staying there when you were treated for your injuries.
Maybe it was true that nobody would've cared if you died.
Besides, why should they? Gilbert certainly didn’t care about you, since he had spent so much of his time throughout the past three years recklessly bullying you. Nobody at the school cared about you, since if they did, they would've quit being bystanders and helped you, even the teachers. Your parents didn’t seem to care about you, since your injuries and depressed emotions only seemed to make life harder for them. You didn’t have any friends, you didn’t make much contact with the outside world, you rarely spoke to others in school or anywhere you went...What importance did you hold in the lives of other people?
The answer to that was plain and simple: None.
Feeling the tears slowly stop leaking out of your eyes, you removed your arm from your face and propped yourself up on your elbows, shifting your gaze to look outside your window. It was dark, and the only light in your neighborhood was from other houses, passing cars, and streetlamps. Blankly staring at the window for a few moments, you finally climbed out of bed and approached it, resting your hands on the sill and examining your front yard.
Your parents were at home right now, meaning that there was no way you were going to be permitted to step outside the house, especially in your current condition. But the tree that was positioned directly next to the window outside told you otherwise. As you continued to examine it for the next few moments, a tiny smile came to your face when you figured you could've easily climbed out the window, made your way down the tree, and headed over to where you had to go. Sure, maybe your parents would've eventually realized that you were gone, but it's not like you should've worried about it, right? Based on what you had to do, the concern of your parents or the concern of anyone else was what bothered you the least.
Lifting your gaze up, you stared out into the dim-lit, empty neighborhood, soothed by its peace and stillness. The silence felt so calm and reassuring, and for a few moments it made all your life problems concerning your injuries, school, and Gilbert move to the very back of your head. But once you finally came back to your senses, you shook your head and let out a sigh before you stood upright and turned around, facing your room once again. You were able to spot a blank piece of paper and a pencil sitting on top of your desk, and another idea made its way to your head.
If you were going to do what you had to, it would've been a bit better if you left a note so that anyone who would read it would've gotten at least a small idea of what happened.
Approaching your desk, you sat down in your chair and began writing with a trembling hand.
I can't take this anymore. I don't care about what you might think, but I've put up with enough. Gilbert, you've won my last hopes of living.
You read over the short note a couple of times, wondering whether or not you should've added more. But after a while, you decided that it wasn't necessary to add anything else. You didn't have to, nor did you want to.
Folding the note twice and putting it in a place where it would not have been too visible, but not especially hard to find, you walked up to the window and turned back around, taking one last look at your room. You wondered about where you would've gone to carry out your plan, but it didn't take you that long to come up with an idea. You often went to the local pharmacy to do some of your shopping, and you often headed to the top of the building where it was always easier for you to think. That seemed like the perfect place, and you wouldn't have had to worry about anybody questioning you afterwards. After a few moments of silence, the only sound being your quiet, calm breath, you turned to face the window, opened it, and climbed out.
You sat on the edge of the roof of the five story tall building, looking up at the clear, star-filled sky. You had been allowed permission to climb up to the roof with the help of a key given to you by one of the employees of the store that you had been spoken to frequently, but you already knew that you weren’t going to be returning it to them. Not that it mattered, anyway.
Everything around you was soothingly calm, and as you continued to look up at the pitch-black sky, feeling the light breeze gently flow through your hair, you thought about how perfect this moment was. You were on the roof of a building all alone with nobody else suspecting you, and even if somebody did, it’s not like it would've stopped you from doing what you felt was right.
Drifting your gaze down, you examined the view of the ground below you. It seemed like a pretty far drop from where you were sitting, and even though people were going to witness a pretty disgusting sight as they were walking around the area of the store after your plan was carried out, it didn’t have any meaning to you.
Still examining the view from the roof with alert eyes, a part of you wondered whether or not this was a good idea. Well, why shouldn’t it have been? You felt that there was simply no other way for you to end all of your problems, especially those with Gilbert, and all it took was a single plunge from the roof and everything would've been over. Your bullying, your injuries, the involvement of your parents, your dreaded grades at school, all of it. You no longer would've had to put up with any of it.
A part of you actually felt relieved that you decided to carry out your plan when you did. You had no idea what would've happened to you and your emotions if you had continued living in the presence of Gilbert every single day, and you certainly didn’t want to find out.
After a few more moments of looking down at the ground below you, you stood up, lifting your gaze once again to the quiet, soundless sky. It seems so peaceful up there...you thought. The exact opposite of what my life is right now.
You wondered how everybody was going to react once they found out about what had happened as a result of your plan. Sure, they were going to be shocked, especially your parents, but it was only because a situation like this had to happen in general. It wasn't because it happened to you. Nobody cared about you, and that had been proven after you were brought to the hospital and treated from your injuries. What Gilbert had said to you a few days ago had been right. It would've been better for everyone if you just went ahead and killed yourself.
And that was exactly what you were planning to do.
You dropped your gaze down once again to the ground below you. It seemed like a long enough jump for you to break your neck or some vital parts of your body, and that was all that mattered to you. Not whether or not anybody would have to witness the horror of seeing your dead, blood-covered body lying next to the front of the store as they walked by. Not the shock of your parents once they found out that their daughter had killed herself because she was severely bullied for nearly three years.
You wondered how Gilbert was going to react once he found out about your suicide. He was probably going to laugh about it and treat it like it was nothing, since he was the one who bullied you for so long and told you that you should've killed yourself. Actually, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to him once he finds out that you killed yourself by jumping off the roof of a public building. You doubted that anybody would've cared.
You took a few steps forward so that you were standing on the very edge of the roof, turned around, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. A part of you felt nervous about making this drop, but you knew that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. It would've lasted for only a few seconds and then all your problems would've been solved forever. There was no need to fret about something that would've made you better.
Opening your eyes, you looked up at the sky and bid farewell to your awful, heart-wrenching life. You had no idea why you even wanted to say goodbye to such a crappy excuse of a life, so instead you said goodbye to the moon, the stars, anything else that you were able to see sitting peacefully up in the sky. You didn’t feel like saying goodbye to anything or anyone else.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and held it, telling yourself over and over that everything was going to be alright afterwards, and you just had to get through the somewhat frightening sensation of plunging off a building before all of your problems would've been gone. Finally, you released that breath and waited for a few more moments of silence before you leaned back enough so that your feet were able to slip off the building and you fell.
There were the few seconds of the terrifying sensation of falling down with your back facing the ground, and just as you thought your head was about to collide with concrete, you felt the awareness of falling into someone’s arms and the crunching of cardboard beneath you.
“What the hell!” you heard someone shout as your fall was broken and the person who now held you in their arms fell back, causing their grip on you to release and you to fall onto the ground next to them with a thud.
For a few minutes, everything was absolutely silent. You still kept your eyes closed, confused on what just happened. All you were able to feel was an aching pain in your back, arms, and legs and the spinning of your head. Am I finally dead yet? As you opened your eyes, expecting yourself to be in another world, you instantly felt confusion surge through you when you saw the clear, night sky and the top of the building that you attempted to fall from.
Why am I still here? you thought disappointedly. Shifting your head to the side, you were able to see the chest, stomach, and legs of the person lying on the ground next to you and a squashed pizza box lying next to their foot, though you weren’t able to see their face.
That was when it hit you. This was the person who had caught you in the middle of your fall and prevented you from killing yourself just as you were about to hit the ground. You felt anger start fuming through you as soon as you realized that your attempt at suicide had been unsuccessful. Struggling to move, you closed your eyes and let out a grunt as you hauled yourself up into a sitting position on trembling arms. Cursing silently to yourself, you felt your knees touch the side of the person who had caught you. Opening your eyes and lifting your head, you saw that he had already gotten into a sitting position and was examining his arm, which you figured appeared to have some kind of a scrape after he fell back. As soon as he lifted his head, his face less than a foot away from yours as you sat on your knees, staring at him confusingly, you could've sworn you almost had a heart attack when you saw who it was that had stopped your suicide.
It was Gilbert.
It took him only a fraction of a second to recognize you, and as soon as he did, you were able to notice his eyes widen and the expression on his face turn from shock, to surprise, and finally to horror. You returned the same expression, though yours was filled with slightly more terror.
Gilbert was the one who caught you in his arms and saved you from jumping to your death?
The two of you continued to sit there, staring at each other in silence, the only sounds being the deep, quick, ragged breaths coming from the both of you. You were aware of how uncomfortable close you were to him...His face was, in fact, only a few inches away from yours. He was so close that it seemed as if he was able to see your innermost thoughts through your eyes. You were able to feel your heart racing wildly in your chest, and for a few moments, you felt as if you had forgotten how to breathe.
Finally, Gilbert decided to speak, though his voice was barely above a whisper. "_-____...?"
"Yeah?" you replied in the same quiet tone, not feeling ready enough to prepare for an attack from him.
But instead of striking a blow at you, he said something that was much, much more painful. "Were you...trying to kill yourself?"
At that, you felt some of your patience, the patience that you had been containing for the past three years, break into pieces. The fear and horror that you had been feeling inside you had been quickly replaced with anger, and feeling new energy burst through you, you sprang to your feet and clenched your fists.
"It's none of your business!" you screamed, your ear-splitting voice filling the soothingly quiet atmosphere. You glared down at Gilbert with eyes flaming in rage while he looked up at you in confusion, and before he had time to say anything else, you raised your leg and gave him a swift, fierce kick in the stomach before you turned on your heel and dashed down the street, tears falling freely from your eyes.